just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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