Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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