You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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