I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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