Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
