Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
