i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
