Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
