Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
