I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
