he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
