YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
