Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I don't think brook has ever known best
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
