he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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