Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
