escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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