first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
