Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
