I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize