I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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