I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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