So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize