I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize