Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
