What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
