quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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