So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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