You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
