how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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