Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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