He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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