I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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