she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
