In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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