i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Is Oprah even human
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
