hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize