He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
