Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
