Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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