I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
