Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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