Dual....:-)
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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