i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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