Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
