burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
