My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
