she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
as a side note pls kill me
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I did not marry a roomba.
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