Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
