jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she told me i tasted like america
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
