All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
