so explain again why im purple
no
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
