id be glad to
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
