Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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