My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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