Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
