:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Girls should come with a carfax report
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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