and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
