so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
