just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
