big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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