Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Randomize
