Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just threw up on my dentist
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
