And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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