This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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