are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
